Mother Joyce
The year is 1957. The place is Wichita, Kansas. To be a single mother in that time and place was to be outside the socially accepted norm.
My wife-to-be was put up for adoption, and from that moment, her birth family was lost. Fifty-one years later, our son pulled the proverbial rabbit out of the hat. He found my wife’s birth family, after we had tried for years to find them and had just about given up hope.
Where once we sought closure, now we have new relationships to explore.
Fast forward 20 years. I married that baby in 1977. In 2008, we remain married. In the intervening years, we have invested countless hours trying to find my wife’s birth mother.
Baby Morgan
We have worked to obtain information through the State of Kansas, through adoption agencies, and through several third-party organizations. The most valuable piece of information we obtained was a copy of her birth certificate with her birth mother’s name. But the trail seemed to end there.
We combed birth records and marriage records and death records online, but failed to find her. We searched Kansas records, then worked outward to neighboring states, then worked our way through vital records for most of these United States. We found matching names, but the ages of those individuals did not match the projected age of her birth mother.
We had just about given up hope.
In January 2008, our son asked to try. He believed he could succeed where we had failed. We told him it was probably going to be a waste of time, but that didn’t deter him. He started learning about genealogy, joined some forums, and began posting my wife’s story.
Less than a week ago, he received a reply to one of his posts. The respondent said her neighbor across the street had told her a story very much like what he had posted. They corresponded. The story my wife knew, and the story of this lady’s neighbor, seemed to match quite well.
This neighbor lives in Wichita.
Phone numbers were exchanged. Calls were made — long calls, late into the evening. Photographs were exchanged.
More than 50 years after her birth, my wife has discovered she has brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles. She has learned about her birth mother’s life and passing. Her sister — the neighbor across the street — is as overjoyed to find a sister as is my wife.
We are still in a state of shock. Catching up on several generations worth of family history is overwhelming. Where once we were seeking closure, now our hearts and minds are being opened to a whole new realm of relationships. I cannot adequately describe the flood of emotions that has overtaken us.
I have a feeling a trip to Wichita is in the making.
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This is great news. I’m so happy for Jan.
My daughter is adopted. I have her birth mother’s name tucked away. Jess has not indicated that she wants to locate her birth mother – someday she may. If I’m still living, we’ll look together.
Jan’s mother is beautiful, so we now know where Jan gets her beauty. We are so happy for Jan and all of you because the kids get more family, too! Just wonderful, and good for Brendan!
Congratulations to Jan and to you. Family is always a miracle…this time it is extra wonderful. Is the closure still progressing?
We are enjoying the frequent conversations with the long lost but newly found branch on Jan’s side of the family. It truly is a miracle.
Tom and Jan:
What a wonderful story. Wishing for you every posssible blessing in your new family discovery. If this helps to keep your summer 09 sailing expenses down; we have a launch ramp, sailing waters, mooring, and a not too bad history of shellfish BBQing.
Steve and Laraine, “Butter 1″.